Every year, on Rebekah’s birthday, I can’t help but think about that birth mother (and father?). I wonder who they are, where they are, what they do. And I wonder if, on a day like today, they think about that little girl and wonder about her and the life she has. I wish there was some way to let them know that she is beautiful, and brilliant, and fun, and loving, and full of energy, and surrounded by people who love her desperately. But there isn’t. So on nights like this, I find myself praying for them. I thank God that they made the decision to bring my daughter into the world and to leave her somewhere they knew she would be found. I pray that no one ever found out that they left her at that gate. I pray that they’re happy and healthy and have enough to get by everyday without struggle. I pray that somewhere along the way, someone told them about the life and the love of Jesus, and that they found him worth chasing. And I pray that, somehow, they would know that the little girl they left behind is a daughter, and sister, and granddaughter, and great-granddaughter, and niece, and cousin, and friend to more people than I can possibly count.

Happy birthday to my amazing seven year old. Daddy loves you.

This is a great book. Leitch talks about baseball from the perspective of a guy who really loves the game and lives and dies with the fortunes of his team. The book is insightful and funny and is written really well. The topics range from stats to beer to steroids to the poor facial hair decisions made by players. He even dedicates a good part of one chapter to Bartman (probably because of the pain inflicted by that guy on Cub fans everywhere) as a picture of true fandom. It’s a must read for Cards or Cubs fans and anyone else who is passionate about the game, particularly if you are a second or third generation lover of the game.

Just a couple of quick excerpts:

On fandom: “True baseball fans do not cheer for their teams to win: They cheer for them not to lose. Victory does not come with joy; it comes with relief.” (p.147)

On stats and records: “Baseball is three hours of Shakespeare sixteen times a day, and. somehow, we’ve turned it into a math problem about longevity.” (p.165)

Take some time to check it out. You’ll be glad you did.

Here’s the list. We went mostly with movies that weren’t high on our netflix list or we couldn’t stream on netflix. I might also point out that I let K make a lot of the choices since I tend to be the one the picks the movies. And of course, I can’t help but make a comment or two about each.

True Grit – loved this film! Great performances. Even though it’s a western and a remake, it felt like a Coen brothers film (which I love). If you haven’t seen it – you need to see this movie. (K liked it too, btw)

Other Guys – This is the first time Will Farrell has been funny to me in a long time. Wahlberg is great, too. Ridiculous movie, but fun.

Kid movie – Rebekah picked it. I’m sure she loved it.

The Switch (aka Jennifer Aniston still plays Rachel pt.100) – I agreed to this b/c I love Jason Bateman. And he’s pretty good in it. Some funny moments, but it’s a rom com. SPOILER ALERT: The whole formula is there. Zany circumstances. They can’t be together. Wacky best friends (Jeff Goldblum is great in this role btw). The heartfelt revelation. I never want to see you again. Soul-searching montage. Reconciliation. Wedding. Weird thing from earlier in the movie is resolved. Happily ever after.

Just Go With It (aka Aniston as Rachel in Hawaii) – See above. Sub Sandler for Bateman (although I’m not as big a fan).

Underdog – Kids got to pick again. I have to admit – I kind of liked it. I loved the cartoon as a kid and the movie stays pretty true. They even go overboard to make Peter Dinklage look like Simon Barsinister.

Tron: Legacy – This just made me sad. First, George Lucas beats my childhood to the ground with the prequels (you know what I’m talking about) and Indy 4. Now, Disney has finished it off by sucking the life out of Tron. Remember all of the things you loved about Tron? Well, they aren’t here. Instead, we get 10 minutes of light cycles and disc battles and then 45 minutes of Jeff Bridges channelling “The Dude” while sitting in the Lotus position and “talking to the sky”. I felt like I needed to apologize to the kids for making them sit through it.

The Dilemma – I like Vince Vaughn and Kevin James. And I like Ron Howard films. My issue with this movie isn’t that it wasn’t good, I thought it was OK, the problem is that the movie that is advertised isn’t the movie that’s delivered. The trailer makes this film look like a comedy. It isn’t (really). There are some genuinely funny moments, but there is a lot of drama and friendship stuff worked out all the way through. Oddly enough, about 30 seconds of the trailer is cut from the film.

So there you have it. More opinion than you want, but perhaps some fair warning. Any suggestions for our last movie tomorrow?

At this point, I should note that Nathan had never  pitched in a game. In fact, he’d only thrown about 20 pitches off a mound after practice as we were messing around to see if he could do it. So telling him he was going to pitch in a big game was first, shocking and second, terrifying.

After I got back to the dugout, I turned around to watch him warm up and saw him in a near panic as he was giving his name to the umpire and getting ready to throw his warm-up pitches. To head off the impending meltdown, I jogged back out to the mound to explain the situation to my 9 year old little man.

“We’re up 8, the most they can score is 7 (this tourney had a run per inning rule). No matter what you do, you can’t lose this game. You can’t fail.”

The shoulders relax. The grin comes out. Now we’re ready to play ball.

First batter – hits the first pitch hard back to the mound. Nathan fields it clean and throws him out. 1 pitch, 1 out. The grin gets bigger.
Second batter -  bunts for a hit. Then scores on the next pitch as he steals second and gets around on a error.
Third batter – strikes out on 5 pitches. The grin is now so big I’m afraid he’s going to trip over it.
Fourth better – grounds out to 3rd.

Four batters, 13 pitches, 3 outs, we win. Nathan runs off the field and jumps into my arms, convinced that this pitching thing is easy.

As I think about it (with probably an unhealthy amount of pride), I’m struck by the power that comes from understanding that there is no way to fail. Fear turns to confidence. Freedom and faith break out. Tears are swallowed by a grin that just keeps growing. Confidence gained yields a greater willingness to risk again.

What if the Church created space for dreamers to go big, but with a safety net beneath them, just in case? What if success wasn’t measured in results, but rather attempts?

What would you tackle if you knew you couldn’t lose?

Pop taught me to love baseball, he took me out on my first attempt to learn to drive. I ate lunch at his house almost every day of my junior year of high school and it was a ritual for me and K to eat breakfast at his house on Sunday mornings when we came into town during college and in our early married life. I remember spending hours just sitting quietly with him after my grandmother died. He taught me about sacrificial love as I watched him take care of her for the last decade of her life and about grace and mercy as he talked about his 35 years of recovery from alcoholism. He was always quick to give me and my brothers a hard time (something I’ve clearly inherited from him), but  just as quick to encourage. He didn’t miss a game, performance, concert, awards night, or any other excuse to watch us do the things we loved. Hearing him say “I’m proud of you” meant more to me than any award or honor I’ve ever received.

He wasn’t a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but he was a good man. I can’t believe he’s been gone for 10 years and I’m so glad to know that a day is going to come when I get to see him again. My guess is he’ll make some crack about the Cubs and remind me of running into the back of Mom’s car on that first driving excursion. I can’t wait.

I’m not much on resolutions. I don’t do well with the “I’m never (always) going to (insert thing here) for the rest of my life starting today.” I’ve found that I am not remotely disciplined enough to keep to those kinds of things. I wish I were in some ways because there are some things in me that could stand that kind of once and for all treatment. But alas.

All that being said, the newness of a new year feels like a good environment to think about directions I’ve taken and directions I want to pursue in the days ahead. So here’s the list. At least for now. The odds are good that I’ve forgotten something vital, but it’s a start.

1. Chase Jesus to be more like him. There’s never going to be a list like this that doesn’t have this on it because I’m pretty sure (read: “certain”) that I will have a long way to go for the rest of my life. God knows I sure do at this point.

2. Love more and better and louder. I want to love people more. Family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, students, and everybody else. But I want to do it in ways that demonstrate that love loudly and leave no room for doubt. I’m not good at it – it’s not a natural thing for me. But as #1 happens, I’m trusting that this will follow.

3. Get healthier. This isn’t a “go to the gym every day and lose 100 lbs by summer kind of thing”, I just want to undo the damage that has been done by five years of school life. Eat better, sleep more, get out on my bike. I’m never going to be “little”, but I want to feel and be better as I am.

4. Enjoy what I’m doing. I love teaching. I love being around and interacting with students. I even like the prep work that goes into making class happen. In fact, there isn’t much about academic life that I don’t like. But I sure do catch myself griping about it a lot. And I hate that. So I’m going to focus on enjoying it and making sure those around me know how I really feel about this life I’m chasing.

5. Do what I enjoy. It drives me crazy that lately I haven’t found (made) time to do the stuff I love – photography, music, reading, writing,  movies, hanging out with people, and on and on (not even sure I remember how to play golf anymore). It boils down to going for it when the mood strikes and not finding something else that needs to be done. Yet another area that requires intention. See a pattern yet?

6. Matter. One of the real traps of academia is spending all of your time talking about everything but not really doing anything. I kind of there. And I hate it. I have always made time to coach the boys in whatever they were doing (whether I knew anything about it or not) and I love that. But there are other Kingdom kinds of things that I want to be a part of and ideas that have been spinning for years that need action. None of it’s happening right now. But it’s coming.

That’s plenty for one lifetime. If you’re the praying sort, when you think of me it would be great if you’d remember some of this. If you make a list, I’ll do the same for you. Who knows how far any of it will go, but desire is the first step, right?

After spending way too much time watching IE videos, I’m struck by what a great picture these folks and their events present of the potential of the Church in the world. This isn’t a “christian” group by any stretch, but they could teach us a thing or two through what they do and the way they do it.

1. Starting Parties / Bringing Joy – One of my favorite missions is the Surprise Wedding Reception that they threw for a random couple who was getting married at the City Clerk’s office (video below).  It reminded me of  AWIP’s Wall Street Money Drop, Skyline’s Fat Calf Bash, and  Tony Campolo’s story of throwing a birthday party for a prostitute in Hawaii – all beautiful pictures of followers of Jesus bringing joy and inviting anyone who will to come and celebrate with them. We’re meant to attract, but too often the approach taken is to argue and condemn. Here’s to more celebrating.

2. Sticking out in a crowd together - The other set of missions that I love are the mp3 experiments (see video below). Participants download an mp3 and gather at a particular place and time. Everyone presses play at the same time and follows instructions given by an “omnipotent voice”. It’s amazing to see what people are willing to do when they have the assurance that they aren’t alone. Not only are participants emboldened, they’re obvious. 3,000 people lying down to take a “nap” in the middle of a park kind of stick out. What if those of us who claim to follow Jesus actually did it together in a way that made us stick out like that? If I read it right, that’s what we’re called to do.

Are there times to engage the world around us with serious and strong stands? Sure. Are they as frequent as we tend to think? Probably not. While I’m not quite ready for public transportation exhibitionism, I’m for more parties, more joy, and more of all of it together. Who’s with me?

Inspired by the season and reading The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan (really good, by the way). I’ve been thinking about vampires. Ones I’ve liked and the one that has been shoved in the face of the world for the past few years.

Let me start by saying I am not an expert on vampires and I am certainly no expert on Twilight. I haven’t read a word of the books nor have I seen a minute of the films. That being said, I haven’t been in a cave for the last couple of years, so I know a little something about Edward Cullen and his angsty, tousled-haired sparkliness. That being said, I’m pretty sure that compiling a list of vampires that are cooler than the Captain of Team Edward is as simple as saying “every other vampire ever” (except maybe Tom Cruise’s version). But that’s too easy (and less fun). So instead, I offer you my well-thought out and researched list of 5 vampires that are certainly cooler than His Poutiness.

1. Count Chocula. Seriously, what’s cooler than the undead helping you kickstart your day by turning your milk chocolate?

2. Keifer Sutherland as David in Lost Boys. With a mullet that made Toby Keith green with envy and cheesetastic visuals, the future Jack Bauer’s first shot at coming back from the dead made the film one of the coolest of the 80′s.

3. Count von Count. This whole list could be dedicated to him. He’d count it down better than any of us. With his WHAHAHAHA and the lightning flashing around him – possibly the coolest of all on the list.

4. Jim Carrey in “Once Bitten”. As goofy and cheesy as this film was and as smarmy as Carrey was in it – he’s still cooler than Ed. While not a classic film, certainly a classic 80s vampire.

5. Maladict from Pratchett’s Discworld series. While not well-known, Maladict is a great vampire character in the classic Bela Lugosi style. Maladict has traded human blood for coffee, but is still willing to use the possibility of throat-ripping carnage to accomplish aims.

If you want some great reads that feature vampires, go with Stoker’s Dracula, Salem’s Lot, I Am Legend, The Passage, or The Strain Trilogy (to name a few). Put the angst down and walk away.

Happy Halloween!

Sociologists are often accused of spending all of their time and energy pointing out problems without offering solutions. In this final (I promise) state question 744 post, I want to buck that stereotype by offering some alternatives to 744.

It seems that the (well-intentioned) purpose of sq744 is twofold: 1) to improve education in OK and 2) to provide the funding necessary to make that happen. Setting aside the question of whether or not increased spending would make a significant difference in educational outcomes, I offer thoughts on how we accomplish these tasks without handcuffing the state to a system that looks to be nothing but trouble down the line.

Funding:

1. Consolidate. I know this is a touchy subject and that it’s easy for those  that it would not affect to say it should happen, but it seems nuts to me that we have 537 school districts in a state of 3.7 million people. Other states at around this population have 195 (Connecticut), 196 (Kentucky), and 221 (Oregon). (source) Even if only administrative offices were consolidated, it seems like that would free up a significant amount of money. Do we need that many superintendents?

2. Corporate partnerships. I know there is already some of this taking place, but it seems that there is a lot more that could be done. Oklahoma companies partnering with Oklahoma schools seems like a win for everyone. Companies get the positive reputation (not to mention a better educated workforce), kids get the help they need. Are there problems with the plan? Sure. Is it better than 744? Definitely.

3. Use a regional average that makes sense – and let it move naturally. For all of the 744 supporters who think pegging spending to a regional average is the best way to go, let’s at least use one that makes sense. What if we tied spending to the regional average of percent of total budget spent on common education? This allows OK to compare to a regional average while staying within the reasonable bounds of our specific economy. I still don’t like this option because it may still lead to difficult choices about cuts in other areas, but it seems better than the per pupil spending average. Whatever measure is used, it has to be allowed to decrease if the regional average goes down.

4. Fire your congressperson. One of the big issues for the yes on 744 folk is taking funding out of the hands of politicians. What about taking politicians out of the position to make choices about funding? If education is the most important thing to you, then stop electing people based on what church they attend or how much they hate homosexuality or how strongly they oppose the Taco Bell menu being printed in Spanish. Elect people who are committed to funding education. And if they don’t do it – fire them too.
4a. Cut legislative pay. It is beyond offensive that we pay legislators more ($38,400) than we pay teachers with 14 years of experience ($37,650). It won’t generate a ton of money, but it’s the right thing to do.

Some ideas on improving the state of education in Oklahoma humbly offered by someone on the outside looking in.

1. Create incentives. Good teachers should be paid more. Great teachers even more. Find a way to reward teachers, schools, and districts that are doing a great job so that we can a) keep those teachers in the state (and in education) and b) encourage creativity and excellence in the classroom. If implemented, standards need to be based on reasonable criteria (beyond test scores) and pegged to previous performance as a baseline. Reward progress, not maintenance.

2. Create an emergency fund. There are schools and districts in the state that could greatly benefit from an one-time infusion of money. The state needs to develop and maintain a fund that can address those needs as they occur without having to up the budget for every school in the state.

3. Bring the parents in. This may be the biggest key. Again, I know there are a lot of schools doing great things to keep parents involved and partnering with the school (my kids are fortunate enough to go to two of them), but could more be done? What if schools held tutoring sessions where parents and kids came together to learn? What if parents were held responsible for their kids’ test scores and/or grades? What if parents and teachers operated as partners in the education of our kids? It would involve a change of mindset – particularly on the part of parents – to make some of these things happen. The laissez faire (or adversarial) attitude about schools and teachers would have to change. Schedules would have to change to make room for school opportunities. If we really believe that the education of our kids is of the utmost importance, even to the point of being willing to back a really bad proposal like 744, we’ be willing to make those changes. Right?

Education in OK is broken. Something needs to be done so that our kids can have the best possible education. But 744 is not the right way to go. I’ll be voting no on Nov. 2 – what about you?

Read previous thoughts on the problems with 744: Part 1 – the concept, Part 2 – paying for it, Part 3 – unintended consequences.