Home > Uncategorized > 5 vampires that are cooler than the Twilight kid

5 vampires that are cooler than the Twilight kid

October 30, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

Inspired by the season and reading The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan (really good, by the way). I’ve been thinking about vampires. Ones I’ve liked and the one that has been shoved in the face of the world for the past few years.

Let me start by saying I am not an expert on vampires and I am certainly no expert on Twilight. I haven’t read a word of the books nor have I seen a minute of the films. That being said, I haven’t been in a cave for the last couple of years, so I know a little something about Edward Cullen and his angsty, tousled-haired sparkliness. That being said, I’m pretty sure that compiling a list of vampires that are cooler than the Captain of Team Edward is as simple as saying “every other vampire ever” (except maybe Tom Cruise’s version). But that’s too easy (and less fun). So instead, I offer you my well-thought out and researched list of 5 vampires that are certainly cooler than His Poutiness.

1. Count Chocula. Seriously, what’s cooler than the undead helping you kickstart your day by turning your milk chocolate?

2. Keifer Sutherland as David in Lost Boys. With a mullet that made Toby Keith green with envy and cheesetastic visuals, the future Jack Bauer’s first shot at coming back from the dead made the film one of the coolest of the 80’s.

3. Count von Count. This whole list could be dedicated to him. He’d count it down better than any of us. With his WHAHAHAHA and the lightning flashing around him – possibly the coolest of all on the list.

4. Jim Carrey in “Once Bitten”. As goofy and cheesy as this film was and as smarmy as Carrey was in it – he’s still cooler than Ed. While not a classic film, certainly a classic 80s vampire.

5. Maladict from Pratchett’s Discworld series. While not well-known, Maladict is a great vampire character in the classic Bela Lugosi style. Maladict has traded human blood for coffee, but is still willing to use the possibility of throat-ripping carnage to accomplish aims.

If you want some great reads that feature vampires, go with Stoker’s Dracula, Salem’s Lot, I Am Legend, The Passage, or The Strain Trilogy (to name a few). Put the angst down and walk away.

Happy Halloween!


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